What a year it has been. Masks, plexiglass, Win-D-Fenders, and distance were a regular part of teaching. Congratulations to my grads: MacKenzie, Evangeline, Vanessa, and Jordan. To paraphrase Leonard Bernstein: in spite of incredible obstacles, we made music more intensely, more beautifully, and more devotedly than ever before.
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I got a new headshot! I'm embarrassed to admit how long it's been since I had a new one done, but one of my schools was requesting a current one and offered to take it, so I did it. Do I absolutely love it? Well...no. But I'm trying to. I'd also like everyone to know that yes, I was standing outside in the freezing cold for the picture and attempting to look normal while my eyes were watering because of the cold air.
I'm considering writing some new stuff about what college freshmen should know when starting their first semester as a music major. What other topics are you interested in? What do you think of the new headshot? I went to my office to drop off some things I don’t need and pick up some things I missed when we left in March. My calendar page was still on March. My wall clock’s battery died. The poster advertising my younger daughter’s high school musical was still on the door. It was weirdly and oddly quiet. But Legolas is still watching over the office. I don’t know what the Fall 2020 semester will bring and it’s unsettling. Looking forward to the day when we can all be back together and making music again. LVC Dutchmen, Blair is waiting patiently for our return.
This is what the floor of my new 'office' (a vacant bedroom) looked like at the end of the first week of online teaching. It seems to be a metaphor for my state of mind, as well.
I know the world doesn't need another blog post from a musician dealing with the quarantine, but I have so many thoughts rumbling around in my head. To me, that's always a sign that I need to write things down. If you're expecting some positive vibe post, you should probably stop reading now. Teaching these days is really more like doing damage control. I've tried FaceTime, Skype, and even Facebook Messenger Chat for lessons. Last week I switched everyone over to Zoom, which seems to work the best for most of us. The sound quality is still marginal at best--and we're doing MUSIC here, so having to ignore/forgive sound quality really goes against the grain. I've established something of a routine, but it's not really enjoyable. I get through each day as best I can. I do enjoy seeing students' faces and talking with them, and that helps me soldier on. I hope it helps them too. I had a video conference with one of my college classes yesterday, and I can't overemphasize to you how worried and stressed out they all looked. They also somewhat resemble zombies after staring at computer screens all day. I'm sure I looked the same to them. But we did connect briefly yesterday, and it cheered me to see their faces. I realized I'm actually in stages of grief over lost performances (Before anyone gets judgmental: I do really get the big picture here--and I know performances will return). Right now I go back and forth between denial and anger. I'm not sure I'm going to ever get to acceptance. During the first week of quarantine, I was on board with all of the positivity and encouraging social media posts. I tried new things in music I never had time for previously. I read up on online teaching strategies. I listened to podcasts. Now, in the midst of the 3rd week, I'm running out of steam and creativity. I would be creative, really, but all of my energy is going into creating PowerPoints and Voicethreads for my college classes. There's not much left at the end of the day to devote to much else. Yes, I'm eating right/exercising daily. I'm also doing laundry, cooking meals (my husband helps with this), and trying to care for my family, both those who are housebound with me and those who are long distance. It's exhausting. I appreciate the folks who are posting all of the positive creative things, I really do. But do I really have to create the next great flute masterpiece right now too? Aren't I doing enough? I just want to share this to say it's ok if you're like me and just getting by on a day to day basis. I'm doing enough, and so are you. I promise I will teach my best and continue to practice, even if it's a real slog. I was reminded this morning of lyrics from one of my favorite musicals: "Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise." If you're overwhelmed like me, it's ok to just sit in the dark and wait for the sun to rise. I will sit and wait with you. 'Tis the season for auditions, and I've heard several so far. Of course I'm interested in hearing students play, but I've noticed several other non-musical things in these auditions that make an impression.
I suppose all freelance musicians worry about when the next gig will come, but I do realize that I'm so fortunate to play great music when the opportunities come. On Sunday I got to play J.S. Bach's "Magnificat" at Lancaster Bible College. I was really excited to play this one--I had never performed it previously, we have a terrific conductor for the chorus and orchestra, and of course, it's the magnificent music of Bach! It's even better when I get to share it with one of my closest friends. Here's a picture of me and Kirstin (who plays with me in The Silverwood Trio) before the concert. We went to college together (Go IUP!) and it's great to get to make music together always. Back in our college days I don't think either of us imagined that we'd still get to do things like this and have such fun together so many years later.
My fresh practice journal for July. I find that a journal keeps me organized and tracks my progress easily. Try it for yourself! What are you practicing right now?
Our local paper had an interview today with a local musician who plays in a band and runs his own recording studio. I'm always interested in hearing about local musicians and happy to know that local music is well supported here. However, one question posed by the interviewer made me clench my fists: "What is your 'real' job?"
The gentleman in the article does hold a job in a non-musical field, but does that make his music and recording studio less worthy? It was difficult to determine the interviewee's emotional response to this question from the brief article. Maybe he enjoys all of his jobs. Maybe he does the non-musical job to pay bills. Maybe he hopes to leave the 'real' job soon in order to focus solely on his band and recording studio. Whatever the situation, he's certainly entitled to make his living without it being trivialized in any way. Below is my email to the reporter: "Thank you for the "In The Spotlight" article in today's LNP newspaper on Gary Conahan. As a musician myself, I am always interested in reading about other local musicians. However, I was dismayed to read the question, "What's your 'real' job?" Using the phrase 'real job' trivializes our work. Being a musician is my real job! It sounds to me that Mr. Conahan, like many musicians I know, wears many hats, as do I. I'm a professional flutist, adjunct professor, private instructor, and I've blogged about collegiate music auditions. Do some of us take on other work that is not musically related? Of course, but doing so doesn't make our music less important or a side job. In the future, could the question be phrased differently so that our musical abilities are not diminished or looked at simply as a minor portion of our lives? Please consider this for the future. Thank you again for covering musicians in Lancaster County. I think we can all agree that we are lucky to live in an area with so many talented musicians." Fellow musicians--please, the next time you are asked that question, politely remind people that this IS a real job! Here is a link to my final article in the series on college music/theater auditions from the parent perspective. The topic is getting the most from your college experience. Thanks very much to Chris at OnStage Blog for publishing these. They were a good challenge to write and I hope they are helpful!
www.onstageblog.com/school-edition/2019/3/7/college-auditions-the-parent-perspective-part-5?fbclid=IwAR0i4A21WcsdNZGNulcvU6PqhnBdo8QnxqcumFspLJe_uxhIm-01r1SaE7c |
I Write too!I write about flute, classical music, college auditions, positive mindset, and music advocacy. Archives
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